Something distracted me on Mother's Day.

Why am I so widely awake at these early morning ? Otherwise I should have been in bed by now as it shows 3AM from my handset! Woaaahhhhh!!....

I felt so dreadful tired since yesterday.Was it be'coz of Mother's Day agenda?

Actually there's no occasions going around and the day doesn't meant anything to me then what could it be?...Deep inside I loved myself as a mom but yes I sometimes couldn't helped the feeling of boredom running from morning, noon and it dragged throughout the night..:(Maybe these feeling occurs when my minds 100%ly into him, my hubby. Aahhh...lonely! Like living in a lonely planet! Duh!

Okay back to topic, I called off the mother's day planned without feeling any regret.

By right I actually decided not to go anywhere even at a first place I feel

like going to give my mom a visit, due to Mother's Day but then I restrained the feelings of going there with many reasons related.

Why bothered when no one bothers me all these while. I decided to stay at home. Somehow my life is just like a short destination I was ment to be with my kids, my 3 kids, my 3 beautiful girls, whole life, I repeatttt..!! WHOLE LIFE I might say but to share joys like sharing is caring with others is such a big NO NO!..

Love? I hate when someone's said LOVE but actually the person's doesn't. Do they really know what love is all about? I assumed that old days folks knows how to feed the kids but then they lacked something.They don't really bother to give love whole heartedly to them. Shame!

Poor me got these kind of feelings since I was a child. Don't scold me it wasn't really my fault. Not my intention to be borne as haterns. It is so just me, till then God had gaven me so much power to bring and well managed my own family as what we're now. I'm so happy in many terms and felt sadden to know how unfortunate my life was in my childhood era.

Besides managed to built a home called homie we oftenly gathered our kids and both us as much as we could, loves being in each other company. Hubby managed to bring monetory topics we got what we have and shared things together in a humble manner. Like wise life is just like a wheel, sometimes you're up top there and sometimes you're down. Have more faith to urself and bring more patience in lifes...ya I agreed patience are all matters.

My Childhood time? Ya in the past I've seen so much things been messing up, I've felt so much good and bad feelings all over in my childhood days. Cried. But there's a time when my parents told me that I'm the most easiest kid to take care off amongs the other 4 sibling. I'm different coz when comes to feeding time I know where to go, I know how to take care of myself, not a cry baby though! Ya! That's how I been raised up pretty much, now? I lost them, lost the parents love, cried.

I swear it was a horrible moment when talking about my past life. Some says clear your minds past is past and never look past with anger. I don't want my kids life ended like mine, it hurts!.

Please do not ask me why and let me kept this as a secret to self. Okay let's stop I don't want to broad it even...nevermind me, just quit the topics or else it will invites more pains to my heart:(

NEXT------->

Good news! Hours ago I received hubby's message saying he is somewhere there, not to mentioned but he'll be with me soon in 1-2 days time after handling his work to his workmate. Relief...he is safe:) Okay ...almost 4am...I need to retire will getting busy in few hours time ...Let's called it a night k!...

...finalize...PC IS SHUTTING DOWN...Zzzzz...